Monday, March 3, 2014

Esther Williams would be proud

UPDATE for an earlier post...

I am learning to swim! I got a DVD from the library... something like "Swimming for Beginners" or how to overcome your fear of death when you step into a pool" The title is not accurate.

Anyway, I got this DVD and it taught me how to begin to learn to swim. First, you hang face down in the water and get used to the feeling of buoyancy.

I have been hanging face down in the pool and praying that I don't drown.  I do this at the shallow end, no deeper than 3 feet. When the panic sets in, I stand up.

The feeling of buoyancy is nice, but it is usually followed by a feeling of impending death if I forget that you exhale through your nose, not your mouth when under water.

But, everyday I try this it gets better.  I have goggles because one of my handicaps is I have to wear my contacts in the water and they would wash away if I opened my eyes even a tiny bit. It's really fun to open your eyes underwater. I am usually looking for the edge of the pool to grab.

The next step is to kick you feet a little to propel you forward. So far, the kicking is doing nothing more that splashing. I'm not moving anywhere but down. Must be doing something wrong.

Then, the DVD said to turn on your side after hanging  there for a while, to begin the motion of a stroke with your arm.

I tried that, but the panic came back and I stood up.

The following lesson showed the instructor gracefully lifting his arm and pulling forward. Real swimming! But, the DVD was due at the library, so I'm stuck just hanging here...

Have you noticed that the two words "there are" have  been replaced by "there's"????

You know, the TV anchor who says "there's five cars piled up on the highway" or "there's many people concerned about this issue" instead of "there are..."???

When did "is" replace "are" in our grammar???

I'm guessing it was about the same time that "impact" became a verb.

And so, there's probably no going back... here's hoping you cringe along with me when you hear the new use of the contraction.

However, I am not giving up on my crusade to convince Black children that the word for posing a question is "ask" not "axe".

I would have made a very annoying speech teacher.